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If You Can’t Join ‘Em, Watch ‘Em

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Ass

I was coming up on my second year working for the company that led me to move out East, and before I knew it, we were getting ready for what would be my second holidays/X-mas party with them. Office parties usually suck—at least the few I had been to. They’re always just you, your co-workers, and their significant others sitting around, drinking cheap booze, eating prime rib, and trying to talk about something other than work while ending up doing exactly that because you have nothing else in common.

My first one there wasn’t all that bad, I guess. It was all those things, but since my adventure canoeing with Nick, we had become fuck-buddies, and after the party began to wind down we went back to his place and had a lot more fun on our own.

This one, on the other hand, was going to be different: the company was doing well, and I think wanted to show it off a little. They moved it to a small ski resort an hour or so out of town and sprung for better alcohol and even filet mignon—or so we had heard. Either way, having it at a resort and further way was great because it meant that we could get rooms, get as intoxicated as we wanted, and have some real fun.

Unfortunately, Nick was unable to attend this one due to a new job (more on that in PT.2). I was pretty bummed about it but happy for him, and figured I would simply make the best of it. I didn’t have many friends at work—not that they had anything wrong with them; I got along with almost everybody, but didn’t know many outside of it. Luckily, I did have Charlotte, so I knew I would have at least one person to hang out with at it.

Char and I decided to drive to it together so when the day of the party finally came I went to her place to pick her up. It was requested that everyone dress up for the party—the men in ties, and the women in dresses—and I had on my one suit which was gray with a black shirt and red satin tie and, in my own opinion, looking good. When I went into her apartment I found her in the first dress I had ever seen her in. It was also red; silky; incredibly tight with a deep, plunging neckline that practically went down to her bellybutton; and scandalously short.

She was in high heels, which I had also never seen her in before, and had on black leggings that were kind of like fishnets but not exactly. Instead of your typical crisscross type they were sheer nylon with intricate patterns cut into them. The whole outfit made her look exceptionally gorgeous and sexy, really showing off her body—though I’m not sure which part of it the most: her tits, or her ass. On one hand, her large breasts stretched the small amount of fabric covering them to its threshold, causing her clearly bra-less nipples to poke out while also giving her the Grand Canyon of cleavage, but on the other, the whole thing only just barely went past her butt cheeks. I thought it was pretty damn brave of her to wear to a work function of any kind but had to admit it was fucking hot.

“Hubba, hubba!” I said with a smile while waving my hand like a fan after she did a little spin to show off.

“You like my getup?”

“Most certainly! That dress is a knockout—and I really dig those stocking things, too.”

“Thank you… I like them, myself—they’re crotch-less, see?” she then pulled up her dress, showing me the opening in them as well as her freshly manicured, yet still thick bush.

“Yes, they are…”

“Wearing this kind of stuff always makes me so horny,” she cooed, running a finger through her pussy. “we don’t have time for a quick session before we go, do we?”

“I wish we did, but we really have to get going. You could always take care of yourself in the car on the way there,” I kidded.

“I was already planning on that, silly,” she laughed.

“Alright then; let’s get going,” I replied, knowing she was completely serious.

Before I go too much further, first a little about Char.

Charlotte—or Char as her friends call her—worked in the IT department with me as my supervisor, and we hit it off quickly. She was kind of a geek: really into computers, video game addict, loved D&D, and had a somewhat over-the-top fascination with professional wrestling—something I would come to understand later on. I was almost immediately drawn to her, and we became close friends after just a short while.

Physically speaking, she was around 5’3”, was always dying her hair one color or another, kept herself in great shape, had smallish hips with an amazingly cute ass, and absolutely enormous tits.

And I do mean enormous.

She had told me her cup size once, and they were something beyond double D’s. I don’t remember if she said they were double E’s or F’s or whatever, either way, they were fucking huge! She also wore those old timey, librarian type of glasses which I find to be very sexy on the right girl, and she was one of them. She was just super adorable and awesome in every way, with a very pretty face, and even better personality.

In many ways she was the perfect woman for me, but our company had a very strict policy about czech amateurs porno employees dating when one had authority over the other. Not that it mattered that much. At that time I was really only into guys, having just begun my newly liberated, man-fucking, sexual life. It was so new and exciting; all I wanted was penis, and as much of it as I could get.

We had started going out for drinks following work not long after I started, and on one night after getting up some liquid courage, I told her so. It was a big step for me, being the first time I had told anyone—other then some one with a cock I was about to play with, obviously.

“Yeah, I know,” she replied to my utter and vainly concealed shock.

“How?”

“It’s not really that hard to tell. Especially with how you and Nick are when you are around each other.”

I nearly spit out my drink. “What?”

“Oh, don’t worry or anything; it’s not obvious—at at least not to most people—and your secret is safe with me,” she said, trying to calm my nerves. “I’ve just known a number of gay guys over the years, so my gaydar is probably a little more fine-tuned than most.

“Okay,” I stammered, apparently reduced to one word sentences, but beginning to regain my composure.

Char and I had already chatted a little about sex on other nights out together but kept it civil and not too personal. I think that my coming out to her let her really open the floodgates, and boy did she ever!

“Plus, I’m always looking out for it,” she went on after taking a drink, “I’m super into man on man sex—all those cocks! Great big ones getting sucked and licked, sexy asses getting ate and fucked. I love everything about it, especially all the cum!”

“I suppose there is twice as much with gay sex,” I kinda joked, not entirely sure what to say.

“Oh, my God, yes! Absolutely!” she laughed. “Ans I fucking love it—the feel of it, the way it looks when it squirting out of a hard dick, or when it’s super thick and creamy and just pours out. I utterly adore the smell of it, too. And the taste? My lord! It’s gotta be the best tasting thing in the world! I mean I’m like a junkie… A jizz junkie”

“Same here…” I half laughed with her, having no idea how to add to all that. “That must be why we get along so well—we’re both complete cum whores.”

“Must be—I know I am—fuck, I’m getting a little wet right now just talking about it.”

Beside our nearly fanatical lust for semen, Char and I found we were truly kindred spirits, and after that night became closer and closer as friends. We even started hanging out together at each anothers place on the weekends, playing video games, talking, or cuddling up on the couch while watching movies and TV shows. It was great having a good friend to spend time with, but I’ll never forget one night, in particular, when things slightly changed:

We were at her place, in our pajamas, and spooning while watching the show Spartacus. If you’ve never seen or heard of it, I’ll just say that it’s a show about ancient Rome and gladiators, and certainly doesn’t shy away from graphic nudity—including a lot of dick.

“Fuck, this show turns me on,” Char whined. “All that hot, sweaty beefcake…”

“You like the beefcake, do ya?” I teased her.

“Hell, yeah! Why do you think I’m so into wrestling?”

I guess that finally solved that mystery.

As we continued watching, I noticed Char ever so slowly—and I’m sure she thought slyly—put her hand down her pants and begin to play with herself.

“Whatcha’ got going on down there?” I asked after letting her go for a bit.

She completely froze. “Nothing…”

“Nothing, huh?” I snickered.

“I’m sorry!” she exclaimed in exasperation. “This fucking show just gets me so hot, and for real—is it just me, or is it like a thousand degrees in here?”

“It might be close to that,” I joked.

“Ha, Ha, very funny, but I’m not kidding; I don’t know if my pussy is just that wet, or if it’s sweat, or both—either way, I’m fucking drenched down there.”

“Oh, I’m only teasing you…” I said and looked down; she wasn’t even exaggerating! The crotch area of her pink PJ bottoms was completely soaked through. “Wow! You aren’t kidding!”

“I told ya so! I need to get up and change,” she pouted.

“Oh, whatever—this is your place—if you’re that horny then go ahead and masturbate to your hearts content, and if you’re hot then take off any amount of clothing you want—I won’t mind.”

“Well, thank you for permission to do what I want in my own home,” she chided me. “And I’m sure you wouldn’t mind, but I’m not going to just sit here in the nude with you next to me fully clothed—I’d feel weird.”

“Then I’ll take my clothes off, too.”

Char grabbed the remote and pressed pause. “So, are you suggesting we both get naked, then? A bit of I’ll-do-it-if-you-do-too?”

I thought we were just playing around around, but it began to dawn on me that she might be serious. “I don’t know…”

I can’t say the czech bitch porno idea didn’t intrigue me. Not so much for the chance of sex or whatever, but if anything, a chance to finally see those humongous boobs out in the open—just to put an end to their mystique.

“Well, it’s not a terrible idea… And it’s not like were going to fuck…” she said more to herself than anything while contemplating. “Completely naked?”

“Don’t ask me,” I shrugged. She most definitely was serious, and I began to question whether or not I actually wanted to completely expose myself to her—titties or no titties.

“You’re not scared to, now, are you?” she asked, mocking me a little. “It was your suggestion, after all.”

“No!” I declared, confidently. I wasn’t about to let her question my guts.

“All right, completely naked it is!” she replied, excitedly. “How about we play a little game of I show you mine, you show me yours?”

I was committed by then and couldn’t believe I even questioned myself, almost giving up the chance to see such a ravishing woman totally nude. “I love it! Who’s going first?”

“I’ll start—if I don’t take off something soon, I’m gonna die of heat stroke.”

Char and I separated and sat with our backs against the armrest of her couch, taking our separate corners.

“You ready?” she asked.

“Sure am.”

“This is going to be sooo much fun!”

Char naturally started with her shirt and was already in the habit of not wearing a bra when we relaxed together so when she peeled it off the two most beautiful breasts I have ever seen dropped out. They were bigger than I had even imagined, having large, pinkish nipples and rather small areolas. It might sound like a bit of a cliché, but they really were close to the size of watermelons.

“Like ’em?” she asked, jiggling them around some.

Like them? I fucking loved them! If there was an award for greatest hits on earth, she would win it unanimously, and it was impossible to hide my awe of them. “They’re utterly perfect…”

“They better be for what I paid for them,” she replied with a slight chuckle.

“They’re fake?”

“Yep. I was barely a B-cup, and always wanted to have big tits, so I figured I would just go for it.”

“I would have never guessed—They look incredible.”

“Thanks—I’m glad you like ’em,” she said while my jaw continued to hang open as she gently massaged them.

She then told me it was my turn, so I took my shirt off.

“Nice, yourself…” she commented and then gave me a slightly perplexed look. “It doesn’t really seem fair, though, right? I mean, it’s not exactly the same thing—a woman taking off her top compared to a guy?”

I really couldn’t argue with her on that. “No, I suppose it’s not.”

“Why don’t you show me your ass?”

“My ass?”

“Yeah! That seems like the most logical thing to show me next—besides, it always looks so cute; I really want to see it!”

I figured I might as well—it did somehow seem the most logical—so I turned around while kneeling and pulled my PJ’s down just past the top of my butt-crack.

She loved it, but that wasn’t apparently quite enough for her. “Keep going…”

I pulled them down further to where my balls started, showing her my entire backside.

“That is one adorable butt!” Char hooted and then her voice got deeper and began to take on a more seductive tone. “And it looks like you shave, too… I think you should spread it open so I can see for sure.”

Clearly things were certainly turning up a notch, and I had no idea where it was all going to lead. But I was starting to get into it, and wanted to find out. So I did as she asked and spread my cheeks wide apart to show her my bald asshole.

“Oh! It definitely is… And fucking sexy as hell!” she growled. “I could eat that for hours!”

I let her gaze at my open hole a moment or two and even gave her a little wink with it, causing her to squeal with delight.

“So you like eating man-ass?” I asked, turning back around and sitting down.

“Without a doubt—I can’t understand why anybody doesn’t.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” I replied, loving this woman more by the second.

“Right? It’s so yummy and naughty! I love just burying my face into a guy’s butt…” she went on, becoming almost lost in contemplation, but quickly came back again. “Either way—I guess it’s time for me to show you mine!”

Char spun around like she couldn’t hardly wait to do it, and while resting on her knees, slightly bent over before pulling down her bottoms just past her butt-hole. Her ass was exceptional: small, but round and very firm looking. Much to my surprise as well as delight, she then opened it up with her hands. “I shave there, too.”

What a sight! She had a perfect, little, light brown asshole that got pinker the more she spread it open. It took a Herculean effort in my part to not stick my nose right into it, right there. Luckily, she turned back around and sat down before too long.

“Yours czech casting porno again,” she said with a devilish grin. “Now let’s see that cock!”

Somehow, I had been maneuvered into showing all of mine before she showed me hers, even though she started, but I didn’t really care at that point. I will also freely confess that by then I was hard as a old oak tree and wanted her to see it. When I pulled my bottoms off, my stiff prick sprung out with a boing! and I sat there with my legs spread, letting it fly free.

“Nice dick!” Char applauded, staring at it intently while pinching and pulling on her nipples. “It’s downright gorgeous.”

“Thanks, happy you approve,” I said, again letting her stare for a bit before pulling her gaze back to my face.”Now you—and you know what I want to see.”

“Isn’t this fun? I don’t know about you, but I’m getting super turned on—I mean, holy cow, I thought I was wet before; I’m fucking dripping now.”

I got the overriding sense that she was trying to stall, and considering where we were at, I couldn’t begin to figure out why. “Is there problem?”

She took a deep breath. “No; I don’t know, I’ve never worried about this before… I don’t want to weird you out.”

“About what?”

“I have a big clit—I mean it’s really big.”

“It can’t be that big.”

“Oh, it is…”

“It’s not bigger than mine, is it?” I asked playfully.

“No! I suppose it’s not,” she said all sassy.

“So, good—then show me.”

“Okay, fine! …Get ready.”

She pulled her pants slowly off; first exposing a glorious, thick, nearly-blonde bush; and I began to drool a little. She then took them off all the way, spreading her legs, and showing me her entire pussy. She telling the truth: her clit was big—very big! It must have been close to two inches long and had a small head that stuck out from its hood. My eyes went huge at the sight of it, and I didn’t know what to say.

“To be fair,” she tried defending herself, “I’m ridiculously horny now, and it’s totally hard.”

I cut her off before she could say anything else. “I like it—I like it a lot! It’s fucking hot!”

“You really think so?” she asked while beginning to play with it and pulling back the foreskin, causing it to look like a small erect penis.

“Oh, my God, yes!” I answered, and I could see a weight lifted off of her shoulders.

Her entire demeanor then quickly changed back to where it was before.

“The rest of my pussy is actually kinda small,” she purred and used her fingers to spread it open, showing me her soaking lips—she wasn’t exaggerating about how wet she was, either.

“Yes…” I murmured, unable to take my eyes off of it or stop myself from giving my tool a few good tuggs.

Char spotted me doing it while I was transfixed by her stroking her cock-like clitoris with her finger and thumb. “Yeah, good thinking—you play with yours, and I’ll play with mine. We’ll just sit and watch each other.”

I absolutely loved the idea, so I licked some spit into my palm and started to really jerk myself.

“Not so fast!” she insisted. “Do it slowly.”

I took her suggestion and began to methodically rub all around the edge of my head and up and down my shaft using only my fingertips.

“That’s more like it,” she cooed. “Play with your nipples some, too.”

I again did as she said and began pinching and pulling them while gently caressing my throbbing tool—it was even hotter to have her instruct me like she did.

Eventually, a large amount of fluid seeped out of my tip, and Char became visibly excited. “Mmm… You should wipe up that pre-cum and eat it.”

I scraped it off with my finger and licked the sticky, clear fluid off of it without question.

“Euh, that’s fucking beautiful!” she bemoaned, sticking two fingers into her pussy while pulling harder and harder on her clit.

The entire situation: me, teasing my pulsating cock; her, masturbating ferociously in front of me with those exceptional tits out—it all was driving me to the point of eruption. When I started to pant loudly and rapidly it became obvious. “You gonna cum?”

“Mmm Hmm,” I mumbled.

“Not yet! I want to see you play with that cute butt-hole a little first; finger yourself some.”

I was all for it—some anal penetration was all I was missing—so I lifted my backside up, lubed up my middle finger, and rubbed it all around my rim, giving her a bit of a show. A little more spit, and in it went.

“Fuck, that’s a beautiful sight! ” she said breathlessly as she watched me slide a slippery digit in and out. “You have such a sexy, little hole—especially with something in it”

I kept going, slipping another finger inside of me, but didn’t dare touch my prick at that point—I would have unloaded right there, instantly. Not that it made much difference, because semen was soon pouring out of my cock like a leaky faucet. Char groaned lustfully at the sight of it and finally released me. “Oh, yeah, now cum for me!”

“Uhhh!” I bellowed when I grabbed my shaft and started stroking. I ejaculated like old faithful, and what felt like a gallon of spunk shot out of me, covering my chest and belly.

“Holy shit! God, that looks tasty…”

“Here we go,” I thought when she moved over to me after I had finished. I really didn’t know what to expect.

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